How Not to Be That Couple Who Fights on Vacation

Summer vacation often conjures images of relaxation, sun-soaked days, and new adventures. Yet, for some couples, it can also become the perfect backdrop for a dramatic soap opera, with you and your significant other as the leading characters. We’ve all witnessed the scene: a couple, red-faced with frustration, turning what should be a paradise into a spectacle reminiscent of a reality TV show. Fear not, dear reader! With a bit of foresight and a healthy dose of humour, you can avoid these pitfalls and ensure that your vacation resembles “La Dolce Vita” rather than “War of the Roses.” Let us explore the fine art of not becoming that couple who fights on vacation.

Vacation: A Masterclass in Togetherness

In the regular hustle and bustle of life, you and your husband have likely mastered your rhythm. Work, school runs, and the daily grind provide a structure that keeps everything ticking along. Evenings might be a whirlwind of homework, dinner, and then collapsing into bed, while weekends offer a brief respite for family bonding before the cycle repeats. However, vacation disrupts this routine. Suddenly, you are together from dawn until dusk, with little to no time apart. The first rule? Acknowledge that your usual routine is irrelevant. This is a new environment with its own set of dynamics, and adaptability is key. Remember, there is a delicate balance between “togetherness” and “too much togetherness.” By recognizing that vacations require a different approach, you are already halfway to ensuring a harmonious experience.

The Powwow Before the Holiday: Setting Expectations—and Opening the Wine Bottle

You’ve booked the dream getaway—a charming seaside town or perhaps a bustling city brimming with culture. Both of you have envisioned what this vacation will be, but here’s the catch: your husband’s expectations might not align with yours. Shocking, I know. Before boarding that plane, it’s time for an honest conversation.

Pour yourselves a glass of wine, put on some music, and discuss what each of you wants from this vacation. Perhaps one of you envisions lazy days at the spa, while the other has planned a packed itinerary that would exhaust even the most enthusiastic traveler. This is the moment to identify any discrepancies and find compromises before the suitcase is even zipped. Trust me, couples who end up fighting on vacation often do so because they never took the time to align their expectations. Consider this conversation a preemptive strike against potential conflicts.

Ditch the Spreadsheets: Vacation Isn’t a Corporate Retreat

Planning might be in your DNA. You’ve got colour-coded spreadsheets, a laminated itinerary, and alarms set for sunrise hikes. However, here’s the reality: rigid schedules can quickly dampen the vacation spirit. How many families have rushed through the Louvre, children in tow, only to realize they resemble a scene from “National Lampoon” rather than an idyllic day in Monet’s Garden? Lighten up and allow for spontaneity. Who cares if you visit the museum at noon instead of 9:30? Take a breather, savour some gelato, and embrace the moment. If all else fails, remember: Google is your ally for impromptu plans when things don’t go as expected.

Me-Time: Not Just for Spa Enthusiasts

Vacations are meant to be enjoyable, not a hostage situation. It’s not only acceptable but encouraged to carve out some “me-time.” Whether it’s an afternoon massage, a solo shopping excursion, or simply sitting in a café with a book, ensure that personal downtime is part of the agenda. And here’s the kicker: make sure everyone else gets a chance to enjoy their own slice of freedom too. Divide and conquer—one day, you’re on kid duty while your husband relaxes, and the next day you swap roles. By the end of the vacation, both of you will feel like you’ve had a true break rather than merely surviving a family endurance test.

Frustration Control: Don’t Let the Volcano Erupt

What happened to the dream vacation? The ideal restaurant is overbooked, the kids are bickering, and suddenly all those endearing quirks of your husband are anything but. Before you explode like Krakatoa, do yourself a favour and pause. Talk it out. Remind everyone that this adventure’s success depends on cooperation and a bit of give-and-take. Each person has their own idea of fun, and sometimes the key to a successful vacation is compromise. Embrace the madness rather than fight it, and you may just find a sweet spot of harmony.

Selfishness: The True Villain of the Vacation Story

Let’s be honest—selfishness can ruin even the best of times. On vacation, it tends to amplify. Everyone wants to have fun, but so does everyone else. The secret to a great vacation? Mutual respect and a shared goal of making each other happy. It’s not about martyrdom or keeping score; it’s about finding that delicate balance where everyone, including you, feels valued and heard. And here’s a bonus: teaching the kids to occasionally sacrifice their whims is a character-building exercise that will benefit everyone. Embrace the joy of giving, and watch as the entire dynamic shifts into something truly magical.

If you are religious, take a moment at the end of the day to pray together, giving thanks for the day that has passed and asking for blessings on the day to come. I’m confident this will help avoid any arguments. If you’re not religious, simply stand beside your husband for a minute and express gratitude to the Universe for the day you shared. Gratitude is like a soothing balm for the heart.

Main Takeaways: Communication, Flexibility, and a Dash of Humor

To avoid being that couple who fights on vacation, start with strong pre-trip communication. Set clear expectations and be prepared to adapt when things don’t go according to plan. Keep the lines of communication open, and don’t let minor frustrations simmer into full-blown tantrums—whether from the kids or yourselves. Remember, vacations are meant to be enjoyable, not a competition or an endurance test. A bit of humour and much love can turn potential dramas into cherished memories. Bon voyage!

Feature image @canva