New research shows the key to a lasting relationship. Happy ever after.

LifestyleApril 18, 2019

I have fantastic news. No, they haven’t found life on Mars nor the secret of eternal youth. But what I am about to share with you is much more exciting than that! New research found the key to a lasting and happy relationship!

According to this new study, there is one key character trait even more important than commitment and passion for a lasting relationship: humility.

What is humility?

The Oxford Dictionary defines humility as “the quality of having a modest or low view of one’s importance”. This should not be mistaken with low self-esteem or low confidence. Maybe I prefer the definition of the American philosophy professor Jason Baehr. He says, “to be humble is to be attentive to and disposed to own one’s limitations, weaknesses and mistakes. A humble person does not ignore, avoid or try to deny her limits or deficiencies”. This means a humble person does not have the arrogant belief of being perfect. And that is already a key factor in achieving a happy and lasting relationship with others. A humble person is aware of her limitations and needs to improve in this or that area. She also sees the value of her own strengths and skills to achieve this honest self-assessment and strives to improve.

Why is humility the key to happy and lasting relationships?

Arrogant partners cannot admit their mistakes and personal shortcomings. Additionally, they also usually think they are too good for the other. This self-importance feeling makes that arrogant spouse feel they aren’t being treated as they deserve when encountering any difficulty in a couple’s relationship. And so they leave.

Humility and forgiveness

New fascinating research made in the USA with 284 couples showed that humble people are more likely to be involved in a lasting romantic relationship, and the key reason is they don’t think they are too good for others. Also, unpresuming people are more likely to be forgiven by their partners when they do something hurtful. On the other hand, arrogant partners have more chances not to be forgiven in that same situation.

Why is forgiveness key to a successful, lasting relationship?

We are humans; we all make mistakes; it is inevitable. In any relationship, we will, at some point, mess things up. We may say something we shouldn’t,  just because we are nervous or tired. We may say or do hurtful things without even realising it. And we’ll want our partners to forgive us. Because we love them and understand we shouldn’t have acted the way we did. So, the key is to be able to forgive and be forgiven if we want to have a happy and lasting relationship. And again, a humble person is more likely to admit her own mistakes, say she’s sorry, and try to amend things. Consequently, she’s more likely to be forgiven, and this is the secret to living happily ever after!

If you want to know more about how to be happy, read To live a long, healthy and happy life.

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