Goldman Sachs guide to being a man Unofficial and controversial

LifestyleMenApril 11, 2019

We all enjoy reading a fun list or a “how-to” guide but sometimes they can be a bit controversial, like the “Unofficial Goldman Sachs Guide to Being a Man”. The American multinational investment bank’s guide went viral and caused heated discussions, with some people loving it and others, hating the list.

The original guide was written in 2013 by John LeFevre, the creator of @GSElevator, a page about “things heard in the elevator at Goldman Sachs”, and John Carney, a Wall Street lawyer and economist. The guide with almost 80 rules is fun and fresh to read, although mainly superficial, at times pretentious and quite sexist. Daring, in times of political correctness. Or better, in times of hysterical political correctness. But they really could let those things out: “Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them”, “Hookers aren’t cool, but remember, the free ones are a lot more expensive”… Really?

Vintage black and white photos showing two men doing a silence sign to each other

The author has since, gotten married and fathered two children, which apparently, improved his outlook on life, and mainly, on women. That’s why, at the end of 2018, LeFevre published an updated version of the guide on how to be a man, changing some of his most controversial points. Is that a sign of love and respect for his wife or maybe just fear?

So, here are 46 rules, out of the 99 of the updated guide, that we find can be useful, or at least, amusing, for any man, and of course, for women too:

1 – Ignore the boos. They usually come from the cheap seats.

2 – Never tell someone you hate your job. If you’re still working there in six months, they’ll know you are a loser.

3 – Never cancel dinner plans with a woman by text message.

4 – You can either make people happy when you walk into a room, or when you walk out of one. It’s up to you.

5 – Never stop dating your wife. Keep doing what you did to get her in the first place.

6 – Don’t let your job define you as a person.

7 – Appreciate your parents. When they die, you become an orphan.

8 – Be kind. Life is hard enough as it is.

9 – If you perspire, wear a damn undershirt. And yes, it should be a v-neck.

10 – People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.

11 – If you offer to help, don’t quit until the job is done.

12 – You probably use your phone too often and at the wrong moments.

13 – Leave a jacket on the back of your desk chair so people can never be 100% sure if you’ve left early for the day or are taking a long lunch.

14 – A glass of wine or two with lunch will not ruin your day.

15 – There’s always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.

16 – Ask for a salad instead of fries.

17 – Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

18 – Don’t split a check.

19 – If you wear cologne (and you probably shouldn’t), no one should smell it from five feet away or five minutes after you’ve left.

20 – The cliché is that having money is about not wasting time. But in reality, money is about facilitating spontaneity.

21 – Admit it when you’re wrong, and forgive yourself for your mistakes.

22 – Buy a tuxedo before you are thirty. Stay that size.

23 – Know your way around a kitchen.

24 – Value a handful of truly close friends over a hundred acquaintances.

25 – Measure yourself only against your previous self.

26 – Suck it up every now and then, especially for your family.

27 – Start a wine collection for your kids when they are born. Add a few cases every year without telling them. It’ll make a phenomenal gift in twenty years.

28 – Place-dropping is worse than name-dropping.

29 – When you admire the work of artists or writers, tell them. And spend money to acquire their work.

30 – Yes, of course, you have to buy her dinner.

31 – Staying angry is a waste of energy.

32 – Always bring a bottle of something to the party.

33 – Avoid that “last” whiskey. You’ve probably had enough.

34 – If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs.

35 – When giving a toast, short and sweet is always best.

36 – Never make a scene.

37 – Don’t fill up on bread.

38 – If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.

39 – Other than watches, cufflinks, and a wedding ring, no jewellery. The only thing worse for a woman than seeing a desirable man with a wedding ring on is seeing a desirable man with a ring on any other finger.

40 – You cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.

41 – Feigning unpretentiousness is worse than being pretentious.

42 – No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.

43 – Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else’s brain.

44 – Don’t ever say, “it is what it is.”

45 – Know that you die twice, once when you stop breathing, and again when somebody mentions your name for the last time. Live accordingly.

46 – Finally, as it relates to all things, including this list: “Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”

And I would like to add a last one, if I may: read “If” by Rudyard Kipling, one of my favourite poems and an inspirational guide on how to be a wise and virtuous human being!

Photos from Shutterstock